Saturday, April 02, 2011

Taboo and more lines of poetry

If you have a minute, please skip over to Oh Get a Grip, where I am guest blogging today with a post about taboos. I'm delighted to be on the blog, but sad that on Thursday Mike Kimera announced his departure from the world of erotica. Wishing him goodbye and all the best.

And here is today's poem, following the prompt (albeit probably in a slightly obstinate direction) from poet Christopher Luna.


One continuous, unbroken line

 
Daughter, I would show you
where the real beauty lies. Under
rain-heavy, cloud-heavy, aching skies, blue
with the want of a breeze. If you wonder

how you could make your way
in the world, I would paint it for you
or better yet, paint the soles of your cradle
-soft feet the colour of roads, the colour of dew

that clings to the thin, deep grass.
I would write you a bible, girl,
all the secrets written backwards
over pages stretched between you and the tumbling world.

I would show you where
to find the last sweet drop
of courage, how to share
the invisible, how to stop.



I'm not very comfortable with rhyme, but that's partly why I've written this. Working within a form makes me a bit huffy and I tend to think it's a restriction that hampers the images and sounds in a poem - why limit oneself? But still, it's all about stretching this month, right? Even if the rhymes are a little clunky.

5 comments:

Craig Sorensen said...

I used to write poetry in rhymes pretty regularly, but moved away from it as time went on.

I know what you're saying about limitations. Sometimes there is a air of predictability that comes from rhyming.

I think you've avoided that, and used the rhymes well.

I enjoyed this poem.

Nikki Magennis said...

Thanks, Craig. I start to hear things in a really duh-de-duh-de-DUH sing song voice whenever I use rhyme. It tends to really irritate me, though I admire it when poets use rhyme subtly and well, especially internal rhyme.

Hey, are you doing a poem a day? If not, why not?!

Craig Sorensen said...

I seriously pondered it, Nikki. But I'm in the midst of two fairly involved large writing efforts, one writing and one editing, I wouldn't be able to devote enough time daily to do a proper job of it.

But I will be watching from the sidelines with interest.

Jason Zions said...

You break up your lines enough that the rhyme remains one of several melodic devices instead of the dominant structural element. That takes a lot of the sing-song out of it.

I rather enjoyed your perverse angle on today's prompt; I dove into the erotic, but since that's not my normal meat and potatoes, it was a definite change of pace.

Nikki Magennis said...

Aw, that's a shame you're not taking part, Craig. I enjoy your verse.

Jason, really?! That sounds very cool, and almost intentional - thanks so much!

And yes, I spend enough time on the erotic that I appreciate a change of subject matter from time to time! Look forward to reading your piece.