Thursday, September 25, 2008

Whoops


Sorry, dear readers. I went on holiday and got back and have been in a Whirl.

So - what's new?

1. I got my copy of 'Ultimate Burlesque' - which is gorgeous and just overflowing with great writers and stories. Lots of glitter and feathers and filthy good fun. Now available for preorder!

2. I am nearly finished a story I'm working immensely hard on - mostly because it involves elements of a plot, and I find plots incredibly difficult. Hence a lot of sweat and thinking and not much bloggering.

3. Kristina Lloyd and Mathilde Madden have started 'eroticacoverwatch' - asking why there are no men on erotica covers. Personally, I'd quite like to see smutty books drop the naked people altogether and go for something fresher - maybe suggestive fruit or phphphh I dunno - a zip graphic? Bunnies? A foil-wrapped johnny? But, if we must have titties on covers, it does seem only fair that they should be equal opportunititties.

4. I found out sadly that I still have the Wedding Curse - which is to say, every time I go to one I fall on my erse and twist my ankle. That's five weddings out of six, folks! It's uncanny. And bloody painful.

5. I also rediscovered the nonsense that is dressing up girly-like. No wonder I do it so rarely. Foolishly, I thought buying a frock would be enough. But it's not. In order not to look merely like a troll in a frock, but more like a troll that has Made an Effort, apparently one needs to acquire magic underwear. And then a slip to stop the magic underwear sticking to the frock. And then fake tan to stop sun-deprived hermit-skin looking whiter than the bride's frock. And then - okay, I'll skip the various shaving/plucking/grooming rigmarole. Suffice to say, I think false nails should be banned under the Geneva Convention. Sticking hard plastic to ones tender skin with superglue just can't be a good idea.

6. On my holiday I did archery. And it was brilliant and amazing. Have asked for a bow for my birthday. Am unexpectedly a damn good shot. Don't laugh.

5 comments:

Jeremy Edwards said...

a story I'm working immensely hard on

I'm still on my first cup of coffee, and I had to read that phrase twice. At first I thought it was an excerpt from the actual story. ; )

So sorry about your poor ankle! I wish the magic underwear could provide instant healing.

Nikki Magennis said...

Oh dear, I can barely keep track of the single entendres, let alone the hidden ones!

And thanks, J, ankle is getting better. I shall be available for more slapstick routines at weddings and bar mitzvahs soon.

kristina lloyd said...

Thanks for the plug!

(Wash your mind out, Jeremy. I'm talking about the link to ECW.)

Nikki Magennis said...

Oh my god, you're all blue! Nice hair, KL.

Jeremy Edwards said...

I'm innocent, this time, Kristina! I missed the l and thought Nikki had loaned you a dog.