Tuesday, August 07, 2007

I want, I want, I want

First, I want to point you in the direction of the winners of Desdmona's Sixties competition - always a good place to find beautiful erotica and writing of the very highest standard. This time round, the winning stories include Plaster Caster by Alana Noel Voth, one of the most exciting, honest, thoughtful and hard working writers I have the pleasure of knowing. Brava, Madame. Elazarus Wills took second place, and I love his writing too.


Meanwhile: I want to write a heroine who sweats and spits and is a real live farting and fucking human being but despite some hints that this kind of thing is encouraged I have a sneaking suspiction it won't wash. I won't say anymore about my novel, sex-by-numbers and the Reluctant Porn Machine right now because I am So Professional (watch me) and I need the money.

Then I want to do a supermarket sweep of a good bookshop or find some old lady with the best library in Glasgow who will employ me to dust the books, page by page, very slowly, line by line, word by word. She will have Tristam Shandy and the Pop up Karma Sutra and Bukowski and Proust and the latest Murakami and Corey Mesler (who took third prize in Desdmona's comp) and Rabelais and - oh, she'll have all the writers I so desperately want to read but don't know who they are yet. Her library will be full of scented geraniums and cameo portraits and pretty cats and I'll make us tea in a samovar and it will rain and rain and rain for hours, so there'll be nothing to do but read (I mean, dust) each book and occasionally glance up into the green and quiet garden.

Also I want a car. So there.

8 comments:

Shanna Germain said...

Oh. Pop Up Kama Sutra? I want that!

I hear you. Let's write a fart novel.

What do I want? I want the story that I'm working on to not suck so much. I want the novel that I'm working on to open it's lock-boxed legs and let me the F in. I want to talk to you on IM. I want to learn Italian. I want to eat sushi and drink beer on the coast...

Ciao, Bella! s.

Alana said...

Nx,

Shout out here made my day. Thank you. You're waycoolkind. XXOO

I want to meet your heroine who sweats and spits and farts, bravo! PLEASE write whatever lights your fire. Stay true to your Muse.

I applaud your courage.

Nikki Magennis said...

Hey S. I shouldn't have said 'fart', should I. Now I'm going to be the farting erotica writer forever. Oh good god.

Anyway. Yo, I want to see that frigid novel when you get it going.

A, it's a pleasure, and you richly deserve it.

Meanwhile, my Muse is tied up Shibari style and she'll do what she's told. Probably. Bitch has to learn she pays the rent.

Smut Girl said...

I would read a farting heroine. I would. It would be refreshing. Well, not if one was directly in the room with her when she...never mind.

If that lady hires you for her library, would you ask her if you might need an assistant? I'd be glad to move to Glasgow...
xo

Nikki Magennis said...

Hey Sommer, I'm so glad you've come to the fart-party! Pull up a chair. Avoid the one with the whoopee cushion...

And I think the old lady will need somebody to spritz the rubber plants in the library too. We can set up a library-cleaning business if you like. ; )

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Sean Shark said...

If you should find this mythic book store and they happen to be looking for TWO page-dusters, please, put in a good word for myself...

Nikki Magennis said...

Hey, Sean. You can join me and Sommer's new company of international page-dusters if you like. We have lots of enthusiasm but an unfortunate lack of clients...