Research experiment No. 452:
If one tips single cream at an angle of 120 degrees from a height of around 4 feet, what will be the resulting splash pattern when said cream hits, say, a melon shaped object raised to the level of what would be hip-height were a man kneeling on the floor doggy style?
I feel like Sarah Lucas, only with a much smaller budget. Particularly when I find vegetables like these in the bottom of the bag:
Right, onto next experiment. No 453: aerodynamic swing of soggy teatowel when stretched to a torque of approximately five with horizontal momentum. Oh my!