Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Writer wanted

Job description:

To write an amount of words in some kind of order. Sometime.

Essential qualities:

Olympic-standard laziness.

The ability to berate oneself constantly about said laziness.

Nailbiting or other oral fixation.

Intravenous broad-band connection

Please answer the following questions imaginatively. If you can't manage imaginatively, please try 'desperately':

1. What do you consider your most effective procrastination strategy?
2. What is your favourite excuse when the postman/gasman/burglar discovers you still in your nightwear at three in the afternoon?
3. What do you plan to have for lunch next Wednesday, now that the tuna in the fridge has turned a strange shade of grey?
3. Describe in no less than three thousand words your latest paranoid fantasy, including but not limited to:
a) Suspected Terminal Illness of the Day.
b) Likely Neurosis or Mental Health Problem of the Week
c) The plot of your next novel. *


Please return this form just after the deadline to ensure you are in no danger of courting success. Thank you.

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